Author Topic: Marlins 2015 Outlook  (Read 614 times)

Marlins JM

  • John Mondo
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Marlins 2015 Outlook
« on: 27 Feb 2015 3:57:09 PM »
Seriously ?

You actually clicked this ??

What kind of "Watch Nascar for the Crashes", Car Crash Rubberneck, sadist are you ?

We are going to suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.

I looked at this team and feel that if we are lucky... we are going to score 470 runs... on the flip side, we will probably give up at least 975... so, wins are not going to be easy to come by in South Florida..

Maybe... we scrape 50-53 wins... that looks like our spot.

When we turn in a lineup card every game... it's going to look like this...

8  Austin Jackson - CF
8  Casper Wells - RF
8  Kris Negron - SS
8  Ike Davis - 1B
8  Salvador Perez - C
8  Luery Garcia - 3B
8  Collin Cowgill - LF
8  Ryan Flaherty - 2b

First off... I know you are going to say... "John... you made a mistake, your entire lineup is comprised of #8 hitters.." and my answer to you is...

No... no I didn't... THEY ALL ARE #8 hitters...

Obviously... we are awful... we won't score runs...

You know those Papa Johns promotions, where you you get a Pizza if your team scores runs in a game ? Well... Marlins Fans get a Free Pizza when the Marlins score 2 runs. (Which MAY happen about twice a week)

As bad as the lineup is... the staff is worse...

1) Kyle Kendrick..
2)...

I'm going to stop there... Kyle Kendrick is our Ace... do I really need to break out the rest of the staff ???  Nope... I sure don't.. . you get the picture... It's awful.. it really is...


Bullpen...

Same as the Rotation... awful... all of it.... Tom Wilhemlsen is the closer, and I imagine he gets maybe 15 opportunities to close out games this  year... (And will probably blow 5 of them)


The Marlins are in a DEEP rebuild... Hopefully after this years and next years draft class, we will have something to cheer about in South Florida...

This year....







Not so much.


Prediction...

Marlins go 52-109 and easily hold off the Royals for worst team ever in DMBO




« Last Edit: 27 Feb 2015 6:38:25 PM by Marlins JM »
Losingest team in DMBO History... by an ASSLOAD

Twins BS

  • Bobby Schmidt
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Re: Marlins 2015 Outlook
« Reply #1 on: 27 Feb 2015 6:19:49 PM »
I don't see any #8 hitters... just a group of pretty cool cats!

Marlins JM

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Re: Marlins 2015 Outlook
« Reply #2 on: 27 Feb 2015 6:41:40 PM »
Damn emoticons....

Totally ruining my comedy.
Losingest team in DMBO History... by an ASSLOAD

Twins BS

  • Bobby Schmidt
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Re: Marlins 2015 Outlook
« Reply #3 on: 27 Feb 2015 7:41:32 PM »
I don't know, I thought the shades were pretty funny!